Do all our shops have cerebral dampening fields or can people be just as dumb at home? Let us look at all the evidence. Is that the
speaking how may I help?”
“Hello, do you sell pens?”
Sadly we didn't have the pen they needed but Gary was able to give them some good advice and
direct them to Shaws
"who also sell pens"!
Before you all start thinking I come from the dumbest town in the world, I was in
Peterborough the other week. Let me set the scene;
We find our selves in a shop, no ordinary shop this is a shop unlike any other
(none shop shop!). This shop sells stationery and does so quite well. We see through the fog (cause there is some in this
special shop!!) a woman holding a calculator. As you approach she stops you for it is true that you work here, and speaks
“Does this calculator add and take away?”
A guy came into our STATIONERY shop and came to
the counter. He had with him a book that turned out to be the user manual for a Playstation. he opened it and pointed at the
"Do you sell that cable" he asked
He was pointing at the coaxial cable from the back.
There was a woman aged three times ten,
that picked up a parker refill,
she turned to her husband said what
a small pen,
as he stood ready to pay at the till.
Eat your heart out Ian that is real poetry!!!
And the woman realy was that dumb.
We had a man in today that walked
with crutches, he got what he needed and came to the till.
“oooh I have forgotten
my money, wait a second.”
He then RAN out of the shop
to his wife that was in a wheel chair in the next shop along. He ran back and looking like a fool said.
“She said I have some
in my pocket.”
He did. Well I found it amusing.
good sir, show me your cheapest pencil."
Ray showed him our twin pack
pencils at 29p
now your cheapest pencil sharpener.”
Ray shows him the sharpener.
forget it I will use a pen!!”
In walks a customer (you know this is stupid already
yes) to the counter he goes.
"Can i have one of your modems please"
"we dont sell modems!"
"There are some on that shelf."
He points at a laminator!!
A mother and son came in the shop today; they did
as others and walked round looking and putting things in a basket. As they had come to the end of their shop then came to
the front of ours. As they were paying an item caught the eye of the young lad, a calculator. As he looked at our range he
came across our sale calculator at 99p, a keen eye! The mother asked him his intentions and he told of the calculator and
how he needed one for school. 99p you say.
"I'll get you one from Poundland!"
We had a woman come in the shop the other
day that kept refering to the hand shredders as 'a hand job!'
"can i have a hand job?"
"I'm getting my huband a hand job for christmas."
We had a woman come in today convinced she had bought
tennis shoes from us.
Ok if we don't sell something in our shop the chances are we will send you to either 'Shaws' or 'Office world' but
what happens when this guy comes in the shop?
"Office world! I may aswell go to London."
What a twat!!
A guy came in the shop the other day.
'THE WORD OF GOD
THE WORD OF GOD'
He shouted for no reason!
Do you sell plasters?
As they walked away she turned to a friend and said, 'Im
sure their supposed to.'
Do you sell scarves?
at an electric shredder 'Does this shred coloured paper?'
returning an item the guys excuse was. 'My wife was confused'
it, nothing more, No elaberation, Not another word, Direct qote.